As a Neurodiversity-Affirming therapist, one of the most common themes I hear from autistic clients is relationship difficulties. So, if you’re reading this and can relate to finding relationships challenging (for various reasons), you’re not alone. In this blog, I’ll attempt to answer the question you likely already have on your mind… ‘How can therapy support social interaction in autistic people?’.
Choosing the right therapist
An important factor in how therapy can support social interaction in autistic people is choosing the right therapist. The ‘right’ therapist will look different for everyone, because we are all unique and therefore we won’t ‘click’ with everyone we meet. Most therapists offer a free 20-30 minute introductory call or meeting. I’d recommend making the most of this by meeting with a few different therapists to get a feel for who you like best.
Ideally, I’d recommend working with a Neurodiversity-Affirming therapist. You can check whether therapists mention this on their website or can look in places such as the National Autistic Society’s ‘Autism Service Directory’. However, if you’re struggling to find one, you can ask a series of questions to determine whether the therapist you’re contacting would be suitable. Some examples might include:
- What experience do you have working with neurodivergent or autistic folx?
- How will you accommodate or respect my needs?
- In what ways do you make your therapy more inclusive for neurodivergent or autistic folx?
- What adjustments or flexible options do you have e.g. taking breaks if I need to, changing the layout of the room, adjusting lighting, temperature etc, access to fidgets…?
How can therapy support social interaction in autistic people?
There are many ways that therapy can support social interaction in autistic people. Here’s some of the main ones:
Developing and increasing self-awareness
If you’re autistic, you’re likely familiar with masking. You’ve maybe done it for so long that you struggle to know who you actually are because you’re so used to conforming around others. Therapy is a safe and non-judgemental space for you to not only explore and figure out who your true self is, but to experiment with actually being them.
As with any relationship, it can take time to feel safe and comfortable with your therapist. This is especially the case if you already find it difficult to trust others or struggle with social anxiety. However, once you begin to feel more comfortable with your therapist, you might feel safe enough to unmask with them. Practicing this in a non-judgemental space can be a great way to build your confidence.
With time and practice, you often then feel more confident to gradually begin to unmask in other social situations. You and your therapist can explore exactly how to do this and with who. This is a great way to ‘test the waters’ and see how other people might react. You can then discuss this with your therapist afterwards and reflect on what went well or what didn’t go so well.
Therapy also provides you with the opportunity to request ‘live’ feedback from your therapist on how you are coming across to them. Many of my neurodivergent clients have found this particularly useful, because they often worry about how they are perceived by others.
Becoming more aware of your ‘blind spots’
The therapeutic relationship is a unique one because your therapist is not connected in any way to your life out-with the therapy space. They do not know your friends, partner(s) or family. They only know the information that you decide to share with them. This means that whatever reflections, comments etc that they offer in your session are much less biased. This is because they are simply reflecting on what you have said.
This can be really useful because it can make you aware of things about yourself that you may not have previously noticed. Sometimes these things can be nice to hear (e.g. your therapist may notice how kind or supportive you are) or more challenging (e.g. they may point out a relationship pattern you have which might be pushing others away). Either way, it can be a powerful way to understand yourself and how you relate to others and the world around you on a deeper level.
Increasing your self-confidence and self-esteem
Many of my autistic clients have often been made to feel like there’s something ‘wrong’ with them. They then feel the need to mask, worrying that if they don’t, they will push others away or be disliked.
Working with a therapist can help you to discover which of the beliefs you have about yourself are true and which are just other peoples’ opinions that you’ve internalised and now think are true. It can be difficult sometimes to figure out who in your life really accepts you for who you are, especially if you’re so used to masking. Maybe you don’t have any relationships at all because you feel so anxious around others or feel like you’ve pushed people away.
Your therapist can help you to figure out what might be going on and will support you to move in the right direction towards finding ‘your people’ i.e. people who you feel comfortable unmasking with.
How can therapy support social interaction in autistic people… Final thoughts…
So if you’ve reached the end of this blog, you’ve hopefully got a clearer idea of how therapy can support social interaction in autistic people. However, don’t just take it from me, here’s some feedback I received from an autistic client I worked with:
“…Being neurodivergent can make it difficult to put myself out there. However working with Caitlin made it easier for me to form a strong support system of friends and find resources. It’s made me much less stressed and made it easier for me to ask for help.”
If you’re interested in having therapy with me, discussing what therapy with me might look like or how working together can support your needs, I’d love to hear you. Click on the link below to book a FREE 20 minute online meeting or to submit an enquiry.