You find yourself crying over something upsetting you hear on the news. A day in the office with all the bright lights, constant noises and people floating about leaves you feeling drained. Your child or partner constantly wanting to be around you all the time leaves you feeling irritable or ‘touched out’.
Sound familiar? It’s possible that you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
What does it mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?
The term Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP, was a term coined by psychologists Dr Elaine Aron and Arthur Aron. Through their research, they found that this trait can be found equally amongst people of all gender identities. It’s a normal trait that can be found in around 20% of people and it helps the nervous system and brain pick up on small details that others might miss. This can be overwhelming in our modern world where we are constantly exposed to high amounts of stimulation.
How do I know if I am an HSP?
Speaking from my own experience, us HSPs notice details other people might overlook. We also experience stronger emotions, both positive and negative. Because we observe, feel, and think so deeply, we can easily become overwhelmed. This means we need more time to relax and are often more sensitive to things like noise or having too many tasks at once.
High sensitivity can look different for everyone but can be summarised under the acronym D.O.E.S.
D- Depth of Processing
Are you highly conscientious, considering all pros, cons and potential consequences of any decision before you make it? Do you prefer to take your time making decisions, needing time to reflect and think things over first? Are you often thinking of your long-term goals or future plans?
As an HSP, your brain is wired to take in more information and to think deeply and thoroughly. This can mean that you need more time to process things or to transition between tasks.
O- Overstimulation
You notice more subtle details of your environment. As a result of this, you are often easily overstimulated. Overstimulation can be caused by certain noises, smells, sensations, or temperatures.
E- Emotionally Reactive
You tend to feel emotions much more intensely than others do. Perhaps you feel extreme empathy for others, even if you don’t know them. Maybe you are sensitive to feedback from others, particularly criticism. You feel easily moved or emotional. These are just some of the responses you might recognise in yourself.
S- Sensitive to Subtle Stimuli
Do you notice subtle changes in the environment or social situations that most people would miss? As an HSP, you tend to be more aware of your surroundings and non-verbal cues.
Dr Elaine Aron created a test which identifies some common characteristics associated with the HSP trait which you may find helpful if you are still struggling to know if you are an HSP or not.
Being an HSP can be difficult
It’s not always easy being an HSP, especially as you can often feel exhausted and overstimulated.
Here are some common challenges that you may be familiar with:
- Easily overwhelmed
- Feelings of anxiety or depression
- Finding change, decisions or transitions difficult
- Feeling alone
- Feeling misunderstood or different
- Burnout
- Overstimulation
- Difficulties with setting boundaries/ people pleasing
- Social anxiety
- Feeling behind in stereotypical life milestones e.g. career status
Being an HSP is also a STRENGTH
When you know yourself and your needs well and have the time and space to regulate, you can embrace the strengths of your sensitivity.
Some of these sensitive strengths include:
- Feeling everything deeply: even small things can bring you great joy because you feel emotions on a deep level and are easily moved.
- Empathetic and caring
- Conscientious and attention to detail
- Thoughtfulness
- Intuitive, observant and perceptive
- Creative and imaginative
- Deep connections with people, animals, nature, music, art etc.
How to embrace your sensitive strengths
- Recognise what you need to make your life feel more manageable and adapt accordingly.
Whilst this is not always possible, there are some adjustments that you can make in your life to reduce or lessen the impact of overstimulation and overwhelm as an HSP.
Some adjustments that I have made include:
- I don’t overbook myself and spread out social interactions e.g. only one or two meet ups with friends or family per weekend.
- Having regular sensory breaks throughout the day where I can engage with calming activities e.g. going for a short walk, having a lie down or stepping away from my desk to make a warm drink.
- Using Loop earplugs (not an ad, I just love them!). These are especially helpful in loud places. I have found them a lifesaver on the train and in crowded restaurants! They help me to feel calm and able to focus.
2. Learning how to accept yourself and recognise your sensitive strengths
If you struggle to accept your unique differences or to recognise how to embrace your sensitive strengths, therapy might be a good option for you.
Due to your sensitivity, it’s not only likely that you will benefit from therapy, but that you will progress quickly too. This is because you are able to get deeper more quickly and increase your self-awareness. As an HSP, it’s likely that you love reflecting deeply on yourself, others and the world around you. Therapy is the perfect space to do this.
If you’re curious about whether you are an HSP or would like to learn how to embrace your sensitive strengths, you can book a free initial meeting with me here.